wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
