Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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