the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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