when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
