Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
