Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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