The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
