i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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