i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
my being single is dangerous.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
