just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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