Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
