drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
