Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize