just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize