Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
