do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
