he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize