it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
