I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
