I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
