the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
