what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize