Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
