I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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