is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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