Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize