am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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