she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
