john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
