did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Green mimosas i think yes
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize