She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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