we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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