dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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