My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He shit in the fireplace
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
