My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
