thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
