Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
