I think I died a long time ago.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
