all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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