Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Blood and glitter go together right?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
