erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
