the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My vagina just clenched in fear
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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