You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
