So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
