Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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