She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
