I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
