I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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