At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize