I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
