In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize