well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
