break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
