oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
