when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize