at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
