My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
